


Team Love Gods

by Rivendell01



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, M/M, Plot to get Enjolras and Grantaire together, loosely based of the Nothing Much to Do web series and therefore Much Ado About Nothing too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-09-05 20:19:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16817758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rivendell01/pseuds/Rivendell01
Summary: “We are all gathered here today for a very particular reason.”“To make Enjolras and Grantaire fuck.”“Shut up Eponine,”





	Team Love Gods

**Author's Note:**

> This is just fun, not much too it, happy stuff that i've had on my computer for like two years so it aint great. But I remember having fun writing it.
> 
> As always, only edited by me, so probs lots of mistakes, I apologise
> 
> Enjoy!

“We are all gathered here today for a very particular reason.”

“To make Enjolras and Grantaire fuck.”

“Shut up Eponine,” Courfeyrac said pointing a finger at her. “Anyway, we are here because we have all had it with Enjolras and Grantaire. So Jehan and I have taken upon ourselves to create.”

“Team Love Gods!” Jehan exclaimed.

“What?” Marius said, sounding completely confused.

“Oh my dear Marius,” said Courfeyrac patting him on the back. “My dear sweet, awkward freckly Marius, you are in luck. Jehan hit the lights!”

“Oh god, not another powerpoint,” Feuilly said dropping his head onto Bahorel’s shoulder.

“Look on the bright side,” Bahorel replied putting an arm around Feuilly. “It can’t be any worse than the one he made on why he and Combeferre should date.”

“Please do not remind me.”

Two hours, three packs of beer and four boxes of pizza later. They start brainstorming.

“We could lock them in a closet?”

“They’d both die of embarrassment before being able to do anything,” Feuilly said, chewing on the end of his pencil.

“We could just talk to them,” Joly suggested.

“Oh, but where is the fun in that!” Eponine replied.

“How did we get Marisette to happen?” asked Jehan.

“Firstly, stop calling us that,” said Cosette. “And you just forced us to go on a date.”

Courfeyrac groaned in frustration “No, that won’t work. They are both way too proud.”

“Spin the bottle?”

“We aren't eleven Bahorel,” Feuilly replied, who was now lying down his head in Bahorel’s lap. “Also we can’t rig where the bottle will end up pointing.”

“Could just smash their faces together and hope for the best?” Eponine said, stifling a yawn.

“Why is this so hard!” Courfeyrac said, throwing his notebook onto the table.

“We could make Enjolras jealous?” Combeferre said, who had been mostly silent up until this point.

Everyone stayed quiet so Combeferre continued.

“Well, Enjolras won’t do anything about it until spurred on by something else. So let’s set up Grantaire with someone. Enjolras will hate it and tell Grantaire how he feels.”

“You are a genius,” Courfeyrac exclaimed, pressing a kiss to his boyfriend's cheek.

“Sounds good to me,” said Musichetta. The rest of the group also nodded their agreement to the plan.

“Okay so who do we set up Grantaire with?” asked Combeferre.

“Leave that to me,” Eponine said smiling. “I know the perfect person.”

* * *

“Yo Parnasse,” Eponine said taking a seat opposite him. “I need a favour.”

“Ep, you know any other time I would but the police have already been sniffing around, and judging by your facial expression this isn't what you wanted.” Montparnasse trailed off.

Eponine rolled her eyes. “I’m not even going to ask. What I wanted is for you ask Grantaire out on a date.”

“Why?” asked Montparnasse

“Because we are trying to get him and Enjolras together and this is our plan.”

He nodded, taking a sip of his wine. “I won’t ask why you think this will work. But you better pay me, not showing off this body for free Ponine.”

Eponine beamed shooting up from her seat. “Awesome, be at the Musain around eight tonight.”

“Will do honey, and say hi to Jehan for me.”

“After we’ve dealt with Enjolras and Grantaire, you two are next. Honestly, sometimes I think you’re worse.”

Montparnasse gasped in mock horror. “You take that back.”

“You bought them a skull. With roses in it.”

“I thought that was quite romantic.” Montparnasse muttered.

“Or that time you had small meltdown when they went on a date.”

“How’s Cosette?” Montparnasse said smiling.

Eponine glared at him. “That is a low blow.”

Montparnasse winked. “See you at eight.”

“Asshole.” Eponine muttered.

“Love you too darling!”

* * *

“You can’t think that this plan is going to work.” Montparnasse said looking over at Grantaire who was sitting at the bar.

“It is the only way we can force Enjolras to do something.” Courfeyrac replied.

“All he will do is either go red in the face or ignore us completely.”

“Parnasse, just go over there please.” Eponine said.

Montparnasse stood up. “Thirty quid says this doesn't work. I want that on top of what you’re already giving me.”

“You are on.” Eponine said. “Now go.”

Montparnasse strides over to the bar. “‘Evening,” Montparnasse's breath was warm against the back of Grantaire’s ear.

Grantaire jumped. “Montparnasse! I didn't know you were coming tonight.”

Montparnasse bought Grantaire a drink and took him slightly further from the rest group. He focused his full attention on Grantaire. Laughing a little louder than needed, brushing his fingers through his hair, smiling and touching Grantaire’s hand when speaking. Leaning in close to speak to him.

Despite all his best efforts the most Enjolras did was go red in the face and burry him self further in his notes.

“Why are you here tonight?” Grantaire asked. “I know this place isn't exactly your cup of tea. Here for Jehan?”

“For you actually.”

“Me?” Grantaire asked in a slightly worried tone. “What do you want?”

Montparnasse shifted his position on the stool so he was face to face with the other man.

“Go on a date with me.”

“What.”

“Date darling, go out with me.” Montparnasse said placing a hand on Grantaire’s knee.

Grantaire now looked mortified. “Look Parnasse, you know I think you are great and you’re brilliant friend. But I just don’t. Yeah I can’t.”

Montparnasse leaned in close, his face inches from Grantaire’s. “Still not over your leader in red?”

“Over? I was, I was never under. No wait stop. I have no idea what you are talking about. The only feelings I have for Enjolras are platonic ones. He annoys me more than anything.”

Montparnasse brushed a strand of hair out of Grantaire’s face. “Well, baby if you change your mind.” He leaned further in, his lips inches from Grantaire’s ear. “You know where to find me.” He pressed a kiss to Grantaire’s cheek, smiled and vacated his seat, moving back over to where Eponine and Courfeyrac sat.

“You owe me thirty quid.”

Courfeyrac let a sound groan of frustration.

Eponine stared in disbelief. “I really thought that would work.”

“Sorry sweeties, back to do drawing board for you then.” Montparnasse said, looking much too smug.

“This is going to be a lot harder than we thought.” Courfeyrac said. “I need to make another powerpoint.”

* * *

**Brainstorming: Attempt Two**

"Enj not coming?" Courferyac asked, setting the boxes of pizza on the table.

"No" Combeferre replied. "He said he was busy. Too much work to do."

"There you losers are." Jehan said, entering the room, a six pack of beer in hand. "Wondered were you had got to. Where's R?"

"Not coming" Eponine entered the room, cigarette in hand. "Took Chetta's shift."

"Ah yes I forgot about our favourite polyamorous trio's anniversary. And put out that bloody cigarette, no smoking indoors." Courfeyrac said pointing at Éponine.

She scowled at him before extinguishing the cigarette in a glass of water.

"I'm pretty sure we are the only polyamorous relationship you know of ." Joly replied, wondering into the room.

"I don't think you, Enj and 'Ferre count Courfeyrac. ” Eponine ducked down as Courfyrac lobs a magazine at her.

"How the fuck do you do a bow tie?" Joly said tugging at his collar.

"Bloody hell, come over here." Jehan said sighing, beckoning him over.

"So what have you got the Mrs and Mr" Feuilly mumbled through a mouth full of pizza.

“A weeks holiday in Brazil."

"That sounds lovely, there all done.”

“Thank you Jehan. Okay wish me luck." Joly said picking up his coat.

"Really you should be wishing your neighbours luck. I hope they all have ear plugs."

"If I weren't running late 'Ponine."

"Yes Joly, revenge and what not, now go."

Joly took one final glance at his watch before swearing under his breath and bounding out of the flat.

Bahorel rolled over from his spot on the sofa. "Do you have to have that effing film so loud?" He says yawning widely.

"This flat is near soundproof. We are using that to out full advantage." Eponine replied.

"It's not our fault the previous owner was a creepy fucker who installed soundproof walls.” Bahorel retorted.

“So if R and Enj aren't here, then this is a perfect opportunity to talk about Plan Resolve the Sexual Tension." Eponine said pausing the film.

“Team Love Gods.” Jehan corrected. “Also she’s right. We dramatically failed. Time for another plan.”

“Please tell me there aren't any more Powerpoints.” Bahorel’s voice was somewhat muffled from his position lying face down on the sofa.

“I’m going to ignore the fact you insulted the powerpoint’s.” Courfeyrac said. “I’m still wanting to lock them in a closet.”

“I feel we should at least try something a little better before we start locking people in confined spaces together.” said Cosette.

“Well, does anyone have a different idea?” asked Courfeyrac.

The group stayed silent.

“So locking them in a room together it is.” Jehan said clapping his hands together. “How are we going to do that?”

“Well,” Courfyrac beamed, turning to Marius. “Who do we know who’s just about to move into a new flat, perfect for accidental locking in rooms?”

Marius opened his mouth, closed it again and looked to Cosette who smiling expectantly.

“Fine.” Marius sighed.

“Perfect.” Feuilly clapped his hands together. “Operation Lock Down is on.”

* * *

**Attempt two: Lockdown**

"Okay places people!" Courfeyrac said, clapping his hands. "Enjolras and Grantaire should be arriving soon. Does everyone know what they are doing?"

"Yes, Courf we do," Bahorel said exasperatedly. "We leave, watch things through the nanny cam. Marius stays and says he's going to pick up Cosette, closes the door behind him and pulls out the shoddy door handle they install. Et voila! They are locked in a room together for a few hours."

"I still think this plan is incredibly convoluted." interjected Eponine.

"Well none of us could think of anything better, so it'll have to do," replied Musichetta. "We should leave, though, it's almost six and Enj is never late."

"Marius, are you sure you'll be okay?" asked Courfeyrac.

"He'll be fine!" Eponine said pushing Courfeyrac out the door. "Let's go."

* * *

"See you, Marius," Grantaire said, raising his hand in goodbye.

They stayed there in silence for another hour, working respectively on the furniture, Marius had asked them to start building.

"Well," Enjolras said eventually. "I'm getting a drink. Do you want anything?"

"No," replied Grantaire.

Enjolras stood up and walked to the door, and pulled at the handle.

"Fuck."

"What?" asked Grantaire, stopping what he was doing.

Enjolras turned around, holding the door handle.

"Oh for fuck's sake!" Grantaire said standing up. "How did you manage to do that?"

"It isn't my fault," Enjolras growled. "You installed the bloody handle and lock."

"And you told me it was all right." retorted Grantaire. "Also you were the one who tried to open the door. You must have done something wrong."

"It's a fucking door. There's no wrong way to open it."

"Actually, I can think of plenty. Push instead of pull, charging into it-"

"Oh don't be a smart-arse Grantaire."

Grantaire barked with laughter, "Coming from you."

"Just come here and try to help me open the bloody thing," Enjolras growled in exasperation, pushing at the door.

"It won't work that way," said Grantiare. "It's an automatic lock. Shimmying and pushing won't do anything."

"I'm sorry, are you a locksmith now?"

"As you said, I'm 'the one who bloody installed it'," Grantaire said, attempting to imitate Enjolras.

"So what do you suggest then?" snapped Enjolras.

"Sit here quietly until Marius gets back. Neither of us has our phones, and there's nothing we can do." Grantaire said sinking into a chair, rubbing his temple. "I don't want to be stuck in here either, and I know that I'm the last person you want to be around, but we're just both gonna have to deal."

There was an uncomfortable silence before Enjolras asked. "What do you mean by that?"

"Don't start Apollo." grimmaced Grantaire.

"Why did you say 'the last person I'd want to be around'. " he repeated.

"I didn't...I just. Nothing that." mumbled Grantaire.

"Do you think I hate you?" asked Enjolras.

Grantaire said nothing.

"Well?"

"You haven't exactly given me the impression otherwise. So I just assumed-" Grantaire trailed off.

Enjolras stared at him with a look that Grantaire couldn't quite place.

Enjolras opened his mouth then closed it again. "I thought we were friends." he finally said.

Grantaire laughed incredulously. "Really?"

"Yes!" Enjolras said defensively. "I know we bicker a lot and I'm not exactly good at showing it, but you are my friend."

"Okay." said Grantaire.

"Okay? All you're giving me to work with is okay?"

"Um, sure." Grantaire cleared his throat. "Yeah okay, we're friends."

"Alright. Glad, we're on the same page." nodded Enjolras.

"Yeah."

"Good."

*Through the nanny cam*

"I'm actually going to cry," Courfeyrac said hopelessly.

"There's still time for them to admit something?" Marius said optimistically.

"They just admitted to being friends. How on earth are we ever going to get them together." despaired Courfeyrac.

"We'll think of something," said Combeferre, rubbing a soothing hand on his boyfriend's back.

* * *

**Brainstorming: Part Three**

**TEAM LOVE GODS (group chat - eleven members)**

**13:02: Courfy**

_Okay so, NEW PLAN GUYS - GIMME UR IDEAS_

**13:02: Brohorel**

_Courf i love you but i think it’s time to leave this sitch alone_

**13:03: Jehan <3**

_NO! LOVE WILL PREVAIL_

**13:05: Closet**

_I agree with Jehan. We can do this, we just need a better plan._

**13:05: Closet**

_Also who the fuck changed my contact name on here_

**13:05: Courfy**

_LOL_

**13:05: Moth Boy**

_This is cyberbullying_

**13:06: Tis the season to be JOLY**

_Have we considered just telling them how the other feels?_

**13:07: Epicnine**

but thats boringggggggg

**13:07: Moth Boy**

_It’s about making our friends happy, not our own amusement_

**Epicnine changed the group chat name to ‘losers club’**

**13:08: Jehan <3**

_I can’t argue with that but also_

**Jehan <3 changed the group chat name to ‘TEAM LOVE GODS’**

**13:09: Chetta**

_Hey guys i’m sick so won’t be at the Musain tonight, Alz is taking my shifts. Good luck with planning!!!!! I’m gonna sleep for a million years :(_

**13:10** : **Tis the season to be JOLY**

_Love youuuuuu_

**13:10** : **Tis the season to be JOLY**

_I’ll be home in five WITH SOUP_

**13:10: Bossuet**

_Love you MWAH see you at home_

**13:11: Epicnine**

_You guys are gross af_

****Bossuet** changed the group chat name to ‘Get Eponine a girlfriend 2K19’**

**13:12: Jehan <3**

_ONE HOPELESS ROMANTIC AT A TIME PLEASE_

**Jehan <3 changed the group chat name to ‘TEAM LOVE GODS’**

**13:12: Epicnine**

_Yeah B!and besides Jehan is next on the list for romantic help_

**13:12: Jehan <3**

_BACK TO MATTER AT HAND pleASE_

**13:13: Closet**

_I really think we should just tell them we know about how they are feeling and go from there_

**13:14: Feuilly**

I was reading Much Ado About Nothing

**13:14: Brohorel**

NERD

**13:15: Feuilly**

And they get Beatrice and Benedick to overhear them talking about how much the other likes them so why don’t we do that but maybe instead it can be an accidental text

**13:16: Jehan <3**

_LOVE IT, BABY_

**13:16: Moth Boy**

_That could work_

**13:17: Closet**

_Vote on it lol?_

**13:18: Jehan <3**

_AYE_

**13:18: Moth Boy**

_I’m in_

**13:18: Courfy**

_Love it, let’s do it_

**13:19: Epicnine**

_Sure what could go wrong (i don’t mean that sarcastically this could actually be a good plan)_

**13:19: tis the season to be JOLY**

_Yes!! (Chetta says she’s in too)_

**13:20: **Bossuet****

_Let’s hope this one works_

**13:20: Brohorel**

_Lets do it lads_

**13:21: Jehan <3**

_YAY_

**13:21: Jehan <3**

_Courf and I will compose messages and then we can work out who should send them later_

**13:21: Jehan <3**

_CHIEF LOVE GOD OUT_

**Epicnine changed the group chat name to ‘Jehan is a loser’**

**Jehan <3 changed the group chat name to ‘TEAM LOVE GODS’**

**22:41: Marius :)**

_Good plan guys I’m on board!_

* * *

**Attempt Three: Willie Shakes**

**22:48: Jehan**

_I’m so sorry Enj, it must be really hard having to see him all the time. I know you’ve said no but I’m sure if you just spoke to R he may be on the same page as you. He hides his feelings just as much as you do. You’ve become much better friends recently. You had a great time at the christmas market and that was just you two. Talk to him!!! I believe in you and I believe in love, I know it’ll work out xxxx_

**22:48: Jehan**

_OH SHIT_

_IGNORE_  
  
_IGNORE_  
_  
_ R - DON T READ

**22:48: Jehan** **  
** _GOD DAMN IT APPLE WHY CAN’T YOU DELETE IMESSAGES_

**22:50: R**

_this is a joke right?_

**22:50: R**

_You’re just being a dick by sending me this_

**22:51: Jehan**

_please don’t say anything to enj_

**22:51: Jehan**

_Unless you plan to ask him out just ignore this. He doesn’t deserve that humiliation_

**22:52: R**

_fuck you aren’t kidding_

**  
**

**22:52: R**

_Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck_

**22:53: Jehan**

_Are you okay?_  


**22:54: R**

_I never thought that he’d reciprocate you know, i_

**22:54: R**

_FUCK DUDE WHAT DO I SAY TO HIM_

**22:55: Jehan**

_I’m sending that to text to him regardless_

**22:56: Jehan**

_Talk to him at the Musain tomorrow?_  


**22:57: R** **  
** _Yeah, yeah, fuck, still though. WHAT DO I SAY?_

**22:58: Jehan**

_Just be honest. Tell him that you like him a lot and would like to take him out on a date._

**23:00: R**

_Easier said than done_

**23:01: Jehan**

_I know, but like I said to Enj, I believe in you and I really think you guys are meant for each other. It’ll happen, don’t doubt yourself_

**23:02: R**

_I should write a will in case I die of embarrassment_

**  
**

**_*_** **_*_** **_*_**

**22:30: Ferre**

_I get this must be hard. Enjolras really doesn’t ‘get’ other peoples feelings sometimes and it can be difficult for him to express himself. But, I promise you that If you just talk to him, he’ll be much more easy going and respectful about this than you think. I know you’ve said no but I’m sure if you just spoke to him he may be on the same page as you. To answer your question, no he hasn’t said anything to me but he hides his feelings just as much as you do. You’ve become much better friends recently. You had a great time at the christmas market and that was just you two, so dating may come naturally. Give it a shot, we’re all here for you._

**22:35: Enjolras**

_Um, Ferre, I think you’ve sent this to the wrong person…_

**22:37: Ferre**

Oh for fucks sake. THIS IS WHY I HATE MY PHONE

**22:38: Ferre**

_Enj please don’t say anything_

**22:39: Enjolras**

_He actually likes me in that way?_

**22:39: Ferre**

_Yeah_

**22:39: Enjolras**

_Fuck_

**22:40: Ferre**

_You okay?_  


**22:41: Enjolras**

_Think it might be time to talk to him about, this stuff._

**22:41: Enjolras**

_Thanks for not telling him what i told you last month_

**22:42: Enjolras**

_I’m glad you gave him advice but I don’t think I could deal with talking to him if he knew exactly how I’m feeling and rejected me_

**22:43: Ferre**

_I doubt he’ll reject you, Enj_

**22:43: Enjolras**

_Can never be too sure_

**22:44: Ferre**

_Talk to him tomorrow, it’ll be okay. And if it’s not okay, you will be okay after._

**22:45: Enjolras**

_You’re buying me at least four drinks tomorrow_

**_*_** **_*_** **_*_**

“Bahorel! Move I can’t see them.” Jehan hissed.

“Stop being creepy and let them talk in peace.” Combeferre reprimanded.

“Does it look like it’s going well?” Eponine craned her neck up.

“Stop spying,” said Cosette.  
  
Feuilly glanced behind him. “Enj is smiling so I’m taking that as a good sign.”  
  
“Yes!” Courfeyrac high fived Jehan.

“Shit!” Feuilly exclaimed. “Enj just kissed R on the cheek. He’s coming over this way.”

Eponine lept up from her seat and practically ran over to Grantaire, taking the seat Enjolras had just vacated.

Enjolras went over to the bar and started chatting to Joly, a bright smile on his face.

“I cannot believe you guys got this to work,” Bahorel said dumbfounded.

“Team Love Gods strikes again.” Jehan beamed.

“So,” Courfeyrac said. “Who’s next on the list?”  
  
“Jehan.” they all said in unison.

“I’m not that bad!” **  
**

**Author's Note:**

> comments and criticisms are always appreciated


End file.
